To say that I have been doing a lot of thinking lately is an understatement. I think that I have reached another natural crossroads and need to decide very quickly the next steps to take.
The main decision is whether or not to take part in the Lichfield Festival Market. Basically I booked a stall ages ago with the idea to display some of my coastal dreams work. The problem is that to set up a stall from scratch along with making a lot of stock isn't going to come cheap. At the moment I am finding it difficult to get any freelance work in at all. This is the problem with spending a few hundred pounds before we have ever sold anything is proving to be a bit of a stretch on the finances. To be in with a chance of making all the stock needed, a decision has to be made tomorrow at the latest if I have even a remote chance of getting it all finished in time. I do tend to thrive on a deadline but there are limits sometimes.
I have also been trying to get a different job just to bring some money in but every interview I go to they assume I want more money or they say I am over qualified. I never used to have any trouble at all finding work and don't really want to be on the scrapheap at 45! i have even been in touch with some of my old contacts but because I have been out of the field for a while, there is very little chance of being able to jump back in again.
Part of the reason for going on this creative journey was firstly to do something that I enjoy and secondly, something that is not age related so I can carry on working without fully retiring. I have never liked the idea of just giving up when you reach 65 and thought that it could be something I could continue to do indefinitely.
It also comes back to the old adage, speculate to accumulate which I am a firm believer in but not to the point of going bankrupt. Plus, at what point do you decide that you are never going to get a job as a designer and just get any job to pay the bills. The point of doing this MA was that at the end, I had to either be employed in a design studio or have my own freelance studio well on the way.
When I finished my BA, I thought I was on the right track and the future was all mapped out for me but it didn't quite work out that way. Not wanting to be negative in any way but this is sort of becoming the last chance saloon. It is becoming impossible to compete with another outpouring of design graduates all chasing the same few placements. Maybe I am setting my sights too high? I mean, I am tending to only contact the top agencies for placements just like everyone else is because you want to work on recognised brands. Plus it becomes a lot easier having a well known agency on your CV when it comes to finding another job.
As for today, I went down to London again to see Natalie at Pearlfisher. After sending them my updated portfolio, I was asked to attend for an interview. I have seen Natalie before and narrowly missed out on a placement last time so was hoping for a bit more success this time round. After showing my work, we had a discussion about what I wanted and what I hoped to gain in the future. The truth is that I have a set of skills and experiences that just need joining together. To try and put it more simply, I know a bit about typography, a bit about branding, a bit about packaging but I find it difficult to successfully complete a brief, on brief. I don't quite know how to pick a brief apart and transpose that knowledge into the final piece. This means that the finished work isn't as professional as it should be.
Anyway, she then explained that they had all the placements filled for the year and even had some pencilled in for next year. With the way things are financially, this quite annoyed me if I am honest. It has cost me train fares and parking and a whole day just to be told that they have no placements. I could have been told that over the phone. This is the last time that I travel down London just to have a chat unless there is a more promising chance of a placement. I can't afford to keep wasting money like this.
So today, I have decided to change tact. I am going to start concentrating more on promoting my own studio practice with a view to applying for the business start up scheme next year. I will still keep sending my work out to a few chosen studios in the form of a monthly update, sort of like a newsletter. Stop applying for any more placements directly unless I get offered one through these regular updates. I am spending far too much time chasing a dream when I should be concentrating more on reality. I still have Dew Gibbons to go to in July, which I am looking forward to.
I will be making a list tomorrow of all the things that I need to achieve every month. I should have been doing this already but it's not too late to start now. Things like get a website for the coastal dreams work sorted out or look at using sites like Etsy and Not On The High Street. Get a presence on the Behance website as this seems to be a good site for professional designers and could bring in some work from that direction. Improve my skills more using Lynda.com with a possibility of learning some basic web design skills to improve my job prospects in the near future.
This may all sound quite negative but the reality is that you have to constantly be honest with yourself. Things are not happening for a reason and I am the only one who can effect change. The one aspect I am happy with is working on my Masters Degree. I can't wait to get back and see what challenges I am going to face. Early on I didn't think I was going to University to study a BA let alone a Masters, so I am proud of what I have achieved so far which is spurring me on to push myself harder to get what I want.
Right, rant over. Time to finish my glass of wine and fall asleep till the train pulls into New Street.
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