Well you know the common phrase that says 'it will all work out in the end'? Well I hope that comes true soon because as per usual the best laid plans fall at the last hurdle. At the moment I should be in the capital city working for Dew Gibbons but instead I am on childcare duties. Where my wife works has recently been taken over by an American company and they have decided in their ill informed wisdom to change too much too quick as per usual. In short, the plans we had made for Karen to be at home whilst I was in London have not worked out as she was informed that no more holiday requests would be honoured for the next couple of months whilst they were re-organising the business. So all that hard work I put in with applying for placements and trying to network my way through has failed.
Don't get me wrong, I do love our daughter to bits but it alters your life in ways that you don't at first imagine. The annoying fact is that all the companies that I want to get experience from are all based in London and not only is the childcare aspect difficult but also from a financial perspective it is becoming less likely that I will ever get there.
Someone did say to me a few months ago that as someone who is a lot older than the usual graduates that you will find it near impossible to get your foot in the door. I'm one of those people that if told I can't do something it makes me even more determined to prove people wrong but lately it has got me thinking. There have been several other agencies that I have had interviews at and I thought that a placement was on the cards but then I find out through the joys of social media that someone else has beaten me to it on several occasions. Again, this isn't a case of sour grapes or a time to criticise anyone else's work but in nearly every case, their portfolio of work was no better than mine so it must have been for another reason. Is it a case of my face doesn't fit? I may be no oil painting but I am not the elephant man either! Is it because I am too tall? Yes, there are times when I have to duck a lot more times in a day than other people! Could it be because I am too big in general? Space is always an issue in a small studio and I might take up too much room!
There are only so many times you can pick yourself up again and try even harder before it gets too laborious and frustrating but as always, after a day of beating yourself up, I am in no way ready to throw in the towel just yet. Now for the big headed, self promotional part...........I have a talent. Yes I know it's hard to believe but I genuinely think that I will make it in the end, it's just going to take me a lot longer than others.
So when I am 70 years old and on my 10th Degree course, at least I can still enter the D&AD awards!
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